Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about

eleven (11) things they did not and will not learn in school.  

He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings

created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and

how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

 
Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it! 
 
Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.

The world will expect you to accomplish something

BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
 
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.

You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
 
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss 
 
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.

Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:

They called it opportunity.
 
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,

so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
 
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring

as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,

cleaning your clothes and listening to you

talk about how cool you thought you were

So before you save the rain forest

from the parasites of your parent's generation,

try delousing the closet in your own room.
 
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers,

but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades

and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.

*This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
 
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters.

You don't get summers off and very few employers

are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.

*Do that on your own time.
 
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life.

In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
 
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds.

Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you can read this  . . . Thank a Teacher.

And for life and everything else you have. . . Thank God!!

Do you ever think about your job?  Most of us do – at least from time to time.  Sometimes we think about how good the job is . . . or isn’t.  We think about whether it’s the right place and time for our abilities.  We think in terms of levels of satisfaction, or whether the ‘boss’ is fair or the working conditions are the best.  Almost always there is something good about the job and something we don’t like.  At various stages one outweighs the other causing overall satisfaction or dissatisfaction.  So, the original question bears repeating – do you ever think about your job? 

 I often think about my job – whatever it may be in that moment.  And I often say my job does not define who I am . . .  and yet . . .   Think about it.   If a person is good at what he/she does – if a person invests time, energy, efforts, skill, knowledge in a job can he/she still remain independent and detached from it?  I don’t think so.  At least, I cannot detach myself from my jobs.  I’m a “hundred-percenter” type person. Therefore, to some degree, the job does define who I am.  In turn, I define the job.  If I invest my knowledge, my skills, my time, my efforts, I cannot do so in a detached manner.  When I invest “me” I invest my core being.  And yet, I have learned (often times the hard way) that I am not the job.  The job is not me.  There is a line of demarcation.  Although my personality is such that I invest “all of me” in my job I try to remain committed to a core set of values – not always an easy task.  My job demands that I invest and engage my mind, my body, and my heart.  To do less than this would be troublesome to my soul.  Perhaps having the experiences I have had in my career causes me to often contemplate my current job – that of school principal in a private, national school in the Middle East.  And the big question: what have I learned?  What have I gained during these experiences?  What have I accomplished?  Where would I be if I did not have this job?

 The easiest question to answer is the latter one – where would I be if I didn’t have this job?  The answer is, “I don’t know.”  But that’s an okay answer with me.  I don’t have to know what my tomorrows may bring.    It would be easy to tick off accomplishments – not because I have accomplished them.  Forward progress does not take place in a vacuum.  True progress is the result of team efforts.  The most difficult questions to answer would be what I have learned and what I have gained thus far.

 I would dare say I have learned from every job.  Sometimes I have garnered insights to other people.  Sometimes I have learned more about me . . . . but I would surmise that these are facts about every job unless it is possible to totally detach from the job.  What have you learned from your job experiences?  Perhaps it has been skills for that particular job.  Perhaps it has been insights into how to advance ‘through the ranks’ in a company.  Perhaps it has been a better understanding of how people act and react in various situations, but especially under stress.  Perhaps it has been a better understanding of how you grow and become – what nurtures you in a forward manner.  Probably you have witnessed yourself at your best and your worst.

 Personally, through the years I have learned a lot about how to appreciate ‘good’ bosses and how to ‘tolerate’ and work with or around those who were not effective.  I have learned new skills and improved others.  I have been afforded wonderful opportunities to meet new people around the world and to learn from them.  I have learned the hard way that I am not my job even though it is an integral part of who I am.

 If my current job were to end today what would I most remember?  If my job were to end today what would I most treasure?  What could I say I have learned?  I would revel in the experiences – good and bad – that I have experienced.  I would treasure the knowledge that I discovered I am bolder than I ever thought I was previously.  I have learned more about how to take a stand – sometimes very visible and loud stands – sometimes very quiet, peaceful stands.  I would appreciate that I have learned to listen better, faster – in the moment.  That it is the only way to hear and weigh and decide.  Many decisions must be made quickly!  I have learned that some decisions can wait – even though those around you don’t think so.  In the current role as principal of a large school (2,500 students) I am responsible – that’s my job.  Therefore, I have to have a vision for what must happen and when it must happen.  For years I thought I had to please everyone in the moment.  I have realized this type of thinking is not realistic – nor is it what I am called to do or be.  I cannot keep a vision and simultaneously please everyone.

 I have learned that no matter where you find yourself in this world there are people who are wonderful and there are people who are not.  I currently reside in a Muslim country.  Islam is the national religion; it is mandatory study in the schools.  It is practiced and honored by the majority of people living here.  Being a Muslim (or not) does not define whether a person is good or not (nor does any other religion).  How a person defines him/herself before God is a better definition.  I have learned we can talk of God and our religion in deep and personal ways that open the minds and hearts without being offensive to the other. I have learned we can touch each other’s heart in these discussions.  Yes, there are tenets from each religion that are brought into the discussion, but not as an arguing point.  They are simply a part of wonderful conversations.

 If my job were to end today – regardless of why – my “take-aways” would be a deeper love of God and of his children from all over the world.  I now have new skills and new friends from all parts of the world embedded in my heart.   I am learning that as long as I desire to learn and keep myself open to life around me I can grow.

To enhance the quality of the glass lead is added to increase the weight, the index of refraction and make cutting easier.  The finer the crystal the more it has been purified.  Despite its fragile appearance it possesses strength and durability.  It is a beauty to behold.  The pieces that have been sculpted to have many facets to them refract light – to catch the colors and lights around them and reflect them. 

Using this analogy, the question would be when you are “tapped” do you “ping” or do you “thunk”?  The honest answer is “both”.  There are times when we act beautiful from the heart outward – at those times we “ping” – we sing sweetly.  At other times, for whatever reasons, we act in surface ways – not in honest truth.  At those times we “thunk”.

The question then begs to be asked and answered – Why?  Why do we ping at times and thunk at other times?  What causes us to act differently at times?  Mostly what seems to decide which we do is from our decisions regarding three questions:

    * From where or whom do we seek to get our affection and security?
    * Who do we most want to please? For whom do we perform?
    * From where do we seek to get power and control?  And how do we use our power and control?

The answers to these questions determine our reactions and responses to life circumstances.  If we look to those who surround us for these answers then we had better surround ourselves only with people who are ALWAYS grounded in truth and honesty.  A wise writer said it this way: “ . . . you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.  Put into practice what you learned, what you heard, and what you saw and realized.”  Seek your affection and security, who you want to please, and your power and control from wise sources.

The biggest problem with “pinging” is that it always hurts to get to this stage!  Just as fine crystal must be purified in the fire to have its musicality – its ability to “ping”, so we must go through the “fire” of life.  Purging ourselves of impurities will always cause pain – it’s the long, hard road.  It is difficult even though it’s rewarding.  It’s painful even though it’s also full of joy.  No one enjoys pain – no one wishes for trials and problems.  And yet, everything that is valuable must go through some type of refining process; (e.g. gold is put in the fire to purify it; knives are sharpened by filing away the edges).

Oftentimes those persons who have the most musicality are the young, innocent children and the older ones who have successfully weathered the storms of their lives.  Young children have no guile; older people have often learned that guile doesn’t work . . . you have to remember too many lies.  People who choose honesty, authenticity, and graciousness ‘ping’.  It is a daily decision that each person gets to make – in fact, it’s often a moment-to-moment decision.  It is not always easy to do, but ultimately it brings peace and joy to the inner-most part of one’s soul.

When you are ‘pinging’ it is easy to hear the ‘thunk’ of others.  When you are ‘thunking’ you can only hear yourself . . . and only then, if you haven’t seared your conscience to not hear.  People who ping are a true joy to be around – they bring hope and inspiration to all around them.  Are you pinging today?

The climate in Abu Dhabi is hot and arid.  Sunny, blue skies are the norm here.  The months of June through September are generally hot and humid with maximum temperatures averaging above 35 degrees Celsius (95 degrees Fahrenheit).  During this time, sandstorms also occur intermittently.  The weather is cooler from November to March.

There is no one architectural style of buildings since they have been built over a long period of time and from a wide range of influences.  In the more densely populated areas, medium- and high-rise buildings are the norm.  Abu Dhabi’s skyscrapers such as the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority Tower, the National Bank of Abu Dhabi headquarters, the Hilton Hotel Tower and the Etisalat (state-owned telecommunications provider) headquarters are usually found in the financial districts.  Two other buildings that are notable are the Emirates Palace (hotel) and the Sheikh Zayed Mosque.  The main malls for shopping are City Mall and Marina Mall; they are very large and modern – filled with many shops of all kinds, restaurants, IKEA, and Carrefour (similar to a mega-WalMart).

Abu Dhabi is a modern city with broad boulevards, tall office and apartment buildings, and busy shops.  Principal thoroughfares are the Corniche (the beach area), Airport Road (school is located just off this road), Sheikh Zayed Street, Hamdan Street and Khalifa Street.  Abu Dhabi is known in the region for its greenery; the former desert strip today includes numerous parks and gardens.

Mail is generally delivered to post office boxes only, except for some commercial organizations.

Abu Dhabi International Airport is the city’s main aviation hub and the second busiest airport in the UAE.  Its terminal spaces are dominated by Etihad Airways which is the UAE’s national carrier and the country’s second largest airline.  A new terminal opened in 2009 with total capacity reaching 12 million passengers per annum by 2011.  Development work has also started on a new passenger terminal, to be situated between the two runways and known as Midfield Terminal.  The new mega-midfield terminal complex will be capable of handling an additional 20 million passengers a year initially and then later, up to 50 million passengers a year.

The majority of the inhabitants of Abu Dhabi are expatriate workers from India, Pakistan, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Somalia, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Philippines, the United Kingdom and various countries from across the Arab world.  Consequently, English, Hindi, Tagalong, Tigrinya, Amharic, Bengali, and Urdu are widely spoken.

Since Islam is the official state religion it follows that major holidays would include Eid al Fitr, which marks the end of Ramadan.  Another major holiday would be 2 December which marks the formation of the UAE.

The diversity of cuisine is a reflection of the cosmopolitan nature of the society.  Arab food is very popular and is available everywhere in the city, from the small shawarma to the upscale restaurants in the city’s many hotels.  Fast food and South Asian cuisine are also very popular and are widely available.  I have already found wonderful Lebanese food, Chinese food, and Samousa’s within easy, quick walking distance of my apartment – or with free delivery.  The sale and consumption of pork, though not illegal, is regulated and it is sold only to non-Muslims in designated areas.  Similarly, the sale of alcoholic beverages is regulated.  A liquor permit is required to purchase alcohol; however, alcohol is available in bars and restaurants within four or five star hotels but is not sold as widely as in its liberal neighbor Dubai.  Shisha and qahwa boutiques are also popular in this area.

Enough about the area for now . . . . Hope this gives you an idea of the area where I now live.  More of this wonderful adventure later . . .

I have been at the school for just over one week, trying to learn my way around the physical facilities and to meet as many of the staff as possible.  Many have dropped by my office to meet and welcome me, to introduce themselves, and tell me what they do.  I’ve even managed to have some interactions with some of the students – and anyone who knows me knows I love doing that!  At this time of the school year we have just begun exams for end of the first term of school.  This is a very different atmosphere from the regular school days, but very typical of any school: students studying those last few moments before going into the testing room.  When all exams have been completed it will be mid-year holiday – two weeks for everyone, students and staff . . . and almost that much time for administrators.

Al Worood enjoys an excellent reputation in the area.  Several of the teachers have been at the school for 10-20+ years.  Some of them were students at the school, and have now returned to teach at the school.  The school is accredited by the Middle States Association, a sister regional accreditation association to Southern Association for which I worked for six years.  It is also accredited by CITA – now an active part of AdvancED, the parent organization for SACS, NCA, and CITA.  The school is a center for the internationally recognized examinations of EDEXCEL and the University of Cambridge International Examinations (CIE).  It is also a center for the American TOEFL-IBT, PSAT, and SAT tests.  It’s a place where I can work and belong!  Together, I believe we’re going to do great things for our students and the school!

Next time, more about the area . . .

I arrived Dubai rested and ready Wednesday evening.  Since I have been there many times going through Customs was not a problem – “sailed” through easily, and off to get my luggage!  That’s where the problem started . . . . it seems my luggage didn’t get loaded in Nashville when I changed planes!?!?  Everything took so long that I was fearful that whoever had been sent to get me would leave thinking I had not come.  They did not leave!  They brought me promptly to Abu Dhabi and my apartment.  When they discovered I had no luggage they sent someone to get me a few items, including something to sleep in.  The baggage claims department had assured me that all 4 pieces would arrive Thursday night same time AND they would deliver it to my address by 11:30 p.m. . . . . It didn’t happen.  They then assured me that it would be delivered Friday by 2:30 p.m.  That was not acceptable; so a school driver went to Dubai to collect it and bring it to me.  All arrived at my apartment around 12:00 noon Friday.  A hot soaking bath and clean clothes – who would have thought that simple things would make a person feel so much better!

The school has provided a furnished 2 bedroom apartment for me – so close to the school that I walk to/from school unless I need to take several items with me.  One of the bedrooms was painted ‘loud’ pink on steroids – it is being painted a gentler color as I type.  The second bedroom is set up as a home office.  Since its color is lime green on steroids they will paint it next.  Then the color scheme will be far better!  The apartment has one other problem – the kitchen stove.  Thus far, both electric ranges they have brought in have had some type of defect – don’t know what, but every time it is turned on, it trips the circuit breaker – all electrical goes off.  The first couple of times it happened I had trouble finding the main switch – it’s behind a hall door in a dark area.  This has happened now so many times I can find it in the dark!  They are bringing a gas stove to see if that will work better in this apartment.  When that happens I will finally be able to cook.  Thus far, it has been microwave and take-out!

The people have been wonderfully gracious to me thus far.  They are providing me with a car and driver for all my needs – in fact, Riyaz is coming to take me to the mall now so I can do some shopping.  For those of you who are familiar with Abu Dhabi I am going to Marina Mall – the largest of the three.  Since I will have a car and driver I will shop for more things.  When I don’t call for one I can walk to an Abu Dhabi Cooperative Market and carry 2 small bags of groceries and other items at a time.  In the meantime, I have discovered some marvelous food places across the street from me and they have free delivery.  One has great Lebanese food – one of my favorite types of food!  Another has the best Samousa’s I have ever tasted – the pastry is very light and delicate and the different fillings have just enough spice to make you want to gobble them quickly!

Enough for now – it’s time to go shopping.  Next time – the school and its 3,000 students.

When our house was built in the early 1970s there were several things in style then that are no longer in style or even wanted! Through the years we’ve changed many things – from roof lines and a larger front porch to different windows and doors – and even creating windows in walls where there were no windows. Late spring 2009 we cut 4 holes in the roof and inserted skylights – 2 in the master bedroom because we had removed 2 floor-to-ceiling windows in a wall in order to build a walk-in closet (extended a wall out an additional six feet – new closet is 6’ x 19’); one was added in a hall bathroom where there was no natural light; and one was added in the kitchen where there was no natural light.

To me the very worst thing to change out has been the popcorn ceilings. (In case you don’t understand the term “popcorn ceiling” – please understand it is not where Homer and I had some type of fight with popcorn . . . . it was a procedure to add texture to a ceiling; paint and texture were blown onto the ceiling simultaneously – see pictures.) We have scraped most of the ceilings in our house. The process involves lots of “elbow grease”, spraying water onto the ceiling, waiting a moment for it to soften the texture, and then scraping the ceiling back to the wallboard. The mess is incredible! The floor looks as if a blizzard of snow had hit it! Dust goes everywhere – even when you have removed everything that can be removed from the room, and covered everything else with plastic and taped around it. The dust filters through everything! We have tried to clean as we go . . . but even so, it’s been a big mess. After each ceiling is scraped and sanded (more dust!) then it is painted.

The good news is that the house is getting a great makeover . . . and thus far we are able to do all the work ourselves – thanks to a very talented husband, and one trim carpenter (Chuck). The crown molding has been installed in several of the rooms already. Wooden valences have been built and will be installed tomorrow over the windows and patio door in the living room and both sets of windows in the dining room. The crown molding around the ceiling is being attached around the valences to create a more artistic look to the areas. While all wall surfaces have to be dusted and gently mopped to remove all dust they will be painted fresh new colors. I will begin the painting in the living room today. Following the painting in each room the carpet is being removed and hardwood floors are being installed.

Years ago we had removed carpet from several rooms and laid parquet flooring. Now this is also passé so it will be removed and hardwood flooring will be installed in all areas except the entry hall. There we will install 20” square tiles.

This is a long-term project . . . . that is moving quickly right now – yeah!!! Will post pictures as we proceed. It will be interrupted from time-to-time as we stop to work on other projects. One such project is to re-seed the yard – needs to be done now that the temperatures have cooled somewhat and the rain has stopped (at least for a few days). It is not always “fun and games” – in fact, many nights we’ve gone to bed groaning from the body aches . . . . but it is worth it! For the most part, Homer, Chuck, and I work well together. Usually, I design and they hone the design . . . . then they do the “heavy” work, and I help on all the other stuff, including meals and clean-up.

Stay tuned . . . . 

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him…
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.'
They really should get lives.
‘He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football
With my friends
He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
‘He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.

He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly your friends….
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the
first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
'Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.’
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for Good in others.
 

[Disclaimer: The author (me) is not the "I" in the story.]

Each of us has patterns of action and attitude. In order to create understanding you must be able to separate vital evidence from incidental stuff. You become a master at managing or working with others by assessing specific psychological needs of peers, employees, or students. Once you have successfully assessed a person’s needs you can work to help them satisfy their needs. That will motivate people! The key is to motivate others to action. The key to motivation is the psychological need. Remember that motivation is the act of helping someone else satisfy his/her basic psychological needs, which in turn will produce positive behavior, (e.g. harmony, efficiency, maximum productivity, bottom-line success.)

Each of the personality descriptions given in earlier articles represents a pure, exaggerated personality type. But despite that, look for character strengths, management styles, environmental preference, and perceptions of each because they symbolize the facets of personalities you face everyday in the world of business. By learning to identify the subtle aspects of behavior and the shifting phases of behavior and the shifting phases of personality with skill and attention, you will profoundly enhance your ability to lead and inspire others.

A person must have four out of the following five identification indicators to get a positive identification:

    * Words
    * Tones
    * Facial expression
    * Gestures
    * Posture

Words:

    * Emotion Personality: color words; sweet; “I feel”
    * Thinking Personality: specific; monotone; crisp – 1, 2, and 3; “I think”
    * Inaction Personality: few; simple
    * Opinion Personality: “I believe”; “you should/shouldn’t”
    * Action Personality: slang words; joke teller
    * Reaction Personality: lots of words; color

Tones:

    * Emotion Personality: nurturing; soft
    * Thinking Personality: monotone
    * Inaction Personality: monotone
    * Opinion Personality: monotone
    * Action Personality: adaptive
    * Reaction Personality: all kinds

Facial Expression:

    * Emotion Personality: eyes and mouth smile
    * Thinking Personality: none
    * Inaction Personality: none; mouth doesn’t even move when talking
    * Opinion Personality: none
    * Action Personality: very little
    * Reaction Personality: every possible way

Gestures:

    * Emotion Personality: touchers; hands up
    * Thinking Personality: few; none
    * Inaction Personality: very few
    * Opinion Personality: folded arms; chin in the air; looking down their nose
    * Action Personality: adaptive
    * Reaction Personality: every kind

Posture:

    * Emotion Personality: slightly fluid
    * Thinking Personality: sit/stand erect
    * Inaction Personality erect
    * Opinion Personality: erect
    * Action Personality: “erect” (adaptive)
    * Reaction Personality: loose; fluid; relaxed

Dress:

    * Emotion Personality: warm tones; cologne
    * Thinking Personality: conservative
    * Inaction Personality: whatever they have
    * Opinion Personality: similar to thinking, but something is usually awry
    * Action Personality: neat; flashy
    * Reaction Personality: stylish; the way they want to

Line on Face:

    * Emotion Personality: ½ circles over eyes
    * Thinking Personality: straight lines on forehead; parallel lines
    * Inaction Personality: none
    * Opinion Personality: quilted across forehead
    * Action Personality: few; (show age; ruddy complexion)
    * Reaction Personality: fun lines around eyes and mouth

The point is that people differ from each other, and that no amount of getting after them is going to change them. Recognizing these patterns can vastly enrich our sense of who we are, of who others are, and of how much we can learn from one another about the problems of life. Great personal differences between each of us are not indications that something is wrong with me . . . or with you. Each of us can learn that the apparent deficiencies in a person’s characteristic ways of dealing with the world are offset by natural strengths in different areas. We don’t require that a great painter be a wise teacher, nor that a trusted accountant be a brilliant physicist. We all, according to our temperament, have our areas of distinction and our areas of struggle. Both deserve to be respected for what they are. So it is with personalities/temperament: different temperaments naturally show us different patterns of intelligent behavior. Please learn to not judge either yourself or others harshly when our (or their) values, preferences, and style of experiencing and dealing with the world are different. There is room for us all, and a need for us all.

Their management style is autocratic. They manage this way; they perform best when managed in this style. They are more task-oriented than people-oriented. Their philosophy is much like Larry the Cable Guy, “git ‘er done!” If you are the manager you tend to come through the door “barking” orders; you are not angry – this is just your style. You give short, swift orders. You want everyone around you to stop what they are doing because what you want them to do is “more important”! You give the “bottom line” in any business situation; then you expect the employees to figure out the details and get it done. You don’t give much support to your employees – you are not a nurturer. You barge in; give orders; then move on. You would abuse the “clinging vine” type person.

If you are the employee or student you want/need to be told what the bottom line is and then left alone to do “your thing”. You do not want or need, nor will you tolerate, someone who “fusses” over you (a nurturer, an Emotions Personality). You will not tolerate someone who “nags” (Opinion Personality) you. The first type you will abuse; the second type you will tell to get lost (actually you would use harsh, blunt language).

You don’t want someone to be wishy-washy or non-confrontive with you. You don’t understand this. It does not compute with you. It is as if you are merely hearing the wind blowing. Furthermore, you don’t even enjoy being with these types of people. Your manager or teacher should not give you too many second chances because you interpret that as “I really don’t have to do it.” You also don’t do well with being responsible or accountable for long term projects; especially, if you have any managerial responsibilities.

Your motivational strategy is to receive immediate rewards, bonuses, trips, perks, etc. You like to do things “your way”. You like healthy competition. As an employee you like having expensive perks and the possibilities of unlimited financial opportunities. As a student you may be charming one minute and a bully the next. You may often be placed in detention or alternative school – especially since many educators are Opinion/Persister Personality and they “nag” you to act differently. You can be (often are) cruel – you steal – you hurt other children – and yet, you have much charm and use it when beneficial to you. You are usually street-smart. You are a survivor; you were taught this in your home life. You are always trading – taking high risks. You do not usually enjoy school unless there are payoffs . . . . and grades are NOT payoffs!

Their environmental preference is group-to-group. They don’t “do” individuals very well since they are not nurturing in nature.  They are action-oriented; they make their own rules. They are adaptive. Examples of this could include: drinking the most beer/alcohol; driving the most dangerously – certainly the fastest; talking the loudest; making their own rules regarding dating; and hiding their “true colors” and pretending to be something they are not (in order to impress someone “important”). Their talk is often slang; often a joke-teller (often dirty jokes). Their posture is fluid; and their dress is flashy. The philosophy is “if you’ve got it . . . flaunt it!”

They awake to an alarm in the mornings. They are athletic (but not always in group sports); they may exercise to loud, peppy music first thing in the mornings. Their breakfast is probably healthy (e.g. healthy shake and vitamins). They like expensive, showy, vibrant things such as: red, plush carpet, gold plated faucet handles, shiny black dishes 18C gold cufflinks, snakeskin belt, thick gold chain (neck), thick black towels, big gold rings, custom made monogrammed dress shirts, expensive shoes, and expensive slacks and a sports coat.

They tend to live in rented condominiums and drive cars that are leased. (Owning housing and cars would imply having roots . . . they don’t want roots!) The car is usually big, flashy, and expensive. It may be very sporty.  They have very few facial expressions; therefore through the years they develop very few lines on their faces. However, they show age and often develop a ruddy look.

To determine if someone is the Action Personality you will need to study the person carefully. While the characteristics listed here are truth please know that this personality can be a chameleon, deliberately underplaying their characteristics in the short run of things in order to adapt to circumstances meaningful to them.